At a recent orchestral concert in Edinburgh with my family, I changed the way I applauded the musicians. When I was 30, a boyfriend told me that I clapped ‘like a seal’. To keep the peace between us, I changed the way I clapped. But he wasn’t the first emotionally abusive relationship I had been in. When I was 19, I thought I had met a mature and sophisticated 25 year old man. But as with all abusive relationships, the fairy tale turned into a grim one. If it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t have had the initial courage to leave both these relationships. At that Edinburgh concert, my daughter pointed out that I no longer had to clap the way my ex-boyfriend had wanted me to. And so, I clapped the way I liked to. Big loud handfuls of claps. And it felt good. Photo © Paula Gilfillan. All Rights Reserved.