As I bend sideways, I realise my body just won’t stretch that far. Lycra ® will though. Lycra is my friend: it doesn’t need ironing, it’s blended with cotton to produce bulge containing skinnies, and it’s the only time I can get away with wearing pink with orange. Along with Lycra, Mr Motivator and Rosemary Conley have become my new gym buddies during the lockdown. I’ve become a master of the step-ball-change and the box-step. Shapes are thrown while pulling a few weights as my cat sleeps, oblivious to the creak of my knee joints and the splatters of sweat. If only I could do as good a cat stretch as him. On non-keep-fit video day, it’s the cross-trainer. Handy when it’s raining and can be performed while watching my favourite box sets (but don’t have the sound up high when watching Normal People). Another quick word of advice: don’t cross-train to any Ibiza club classics; in some warped primaeval trigger, your heart, body and mind will keep in time with its 150 beats per minu